The 'Take All Comers' School (a.k.a. Hard Luck U.)

Very few college professors want to admit it, but in most college classrooms at least half to two-thirds of the students present shouldn't be there. Well, maybe that's an overstatement because the students who don't belong in college typically don't bother showing up for class: I should have said that at least half to two-thirds of students admitted don't belong in a college classroom.

As you can imagine, this is heresy in educational circles. In What Obama Should have Told the Kids, John Carney lays out the case against college for most people better than I could. Call me a hypocrite, but I know that without such a healthy demand for a product which most will go into debt to obtain regardless of whether they will actually benefit from it, I would be unemployed. This is a fact of American higher education, I tell myself, and I can do nothing to change it except possibly inspire that rare student.

Virtually every college and university is home to some students who do not enjoy learning, don't know what they want to do with their lives, and are doing just enough to get by. Without them (or, more accurately, the tuition dollars which accompany them), most colleges and universities would be bankrupt within 5 years. Every new gym, student center, and upscale dormatory built requires a certain number of fee-paying bodies to cover its operating expenses. If college admission were limited to the top 10-15% of students, the fees charged would be enormous. Better to water down expectations, most colleges reason, than stand on principle and go broke.

Having said that, there are certain colleges for whom enticing marginal students has become the prime focus of their business model. These are schools, like the jock schools, which generate money through the 'bring' which accompanies each student; a combination of tuition, federal, and state grants and financial aid.

Hard Luck U. schools are fairly easy to spot once you know what you're looking for. The admissions portion of the Hard Luck U. website will not state any requirements for ACT/SAT scores, class rank, etc. and may not even require a high school diploma. Once you arrive on campus, the admissions offices are palatial and the sales representatives (uh, "Admissions Counselors") are attractive and attentive. Look outside of the plushly carpeted offices, though, and the big-ticket items like parking lots, windows, and sidewalks show signs of decades of deferred maintenance. Classroom buildings and faculty offices may leak or even present hazardous conditions.

Along with the hard sell to under-prepared students and second-string athletes, Hard Luck U. is a very diverse place. Unlike the Castle on the Hill Schools, however, this is an unintended diversity born of desperation. Hard Luck U.'s open admissions (it's not unusual for 80-100% of applicants to be accepted) and low expenses are particularly attractive to locals and minorities. International students are recruited, just like Castle on the Hill and Big-Name Universities, but these students are from Kazakhstan and Zimbabwe, not France and Japan.

WHERE THE MONEY COMES FROM:

• Like the Jock School, most of the money comes from students' "bring" - whatever educational grants and scholarships the student is eligible for, as well as whatever tuition (if any) the parents can afford. Hard Luck U. has driven down its costs so far through deferred maintenance and part-time faculty that it can actually get by quite nicely on the federal grants brought in by low-income students.
• Along with the constant fight for survival, Hard Luck U. has perfected the art of charging someone, somewhere, for every service it offers. Scrutinize the fees carefully.

PITFALLS FOR PARENTS:

• Like the Jock Schools, education at Hard Luck U. can be illusory. Academic rigor can be variable among degree programs, but administrators focused on "student retention" may also pressure faculty to lower standards.
• Since the whole place needs money, be on the lookout for signs that the college is going bankrupt and will be shutting down. Sometimes this can have disastrous effects, as in the case of Nasson College, which was sold to a private investor who later held student records and transcripts hostage.
• Peer influence may not be what you had in mind for your student, particularly if security is lax.
• The faculty may be largely part-timers and/or retired high school teachers. This is not bad in itself, but as it reflects the administration's emphasis on cheapness, don't expect adequate science labs or guest lecturers beyond stand-up comics.

PROMISING DEVELOPMENTS:

• Hard Luck U. can be a place to park a so-so student cheaply in the hope that he or she will grow up and learn some useful job skills.
• Unlike the Castle on the Hill, Hard Luck U. will expose students to people (international and domestic) who might not have entered their middle-class background otherwise.
• Unlike Big Name U., Hard Luck U. will probably not have any classes with more than 40 or 50 students